The Lion Apr 30, 2007

Q. How to catch a lion

Following are the new methods generated after intensive research. Some are useful some very useful.

Newton's Method:
Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion

Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.Due to higher relative velocity,the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.

Schrodinger Method:
At any given moment, there is a positive probability that lion to be in the cage. So set the trap, sit down and wait.

Inverse Transformation Method:
We place a spherical cage in the forest and enter it. Perform an inverse transformation with respect to lion. Lion is in and we are out.

Thermodynamic Procedure:
We construct a semi-permeable membrane which allows everything to pass it except lions. Then sweep the entire forest with it.

Integration Differential Method:
Integrate the forest over the entire area. The lion is some where in the result. So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t lion to trace out the lion

Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it to accept that its a Lion.

Frustrated !! Yes/No ??

O.K. Now let’s kill the lion...

Rajnikanth Method:
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Ramarajan Method:
Remove the make-up and put it over lion. The lion will die notwithstanding that heavy weight.

Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping!

Manirathnam Method (director):
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Karan Johar Method (director):
Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to t he forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another
lioness (third) into the forest. You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

Yash Chopra method (director):
Take the lion to Australia or US... and kill it in a good scenic location.

Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.

Rahul Dravid method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run.

Maneka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

George Bush method:
Link the lion with OSAMA BIN LADEN and shoot him